Some things are better enjoyed together.
Just like anything in a relationship, it can be hard to decide on something that satisfies both parties — especially if you’re trying to decide which sex toy you should use together in the bedroom. From vibrators to sex dice, handcuffs to wedge pillows, there’s no shortage of tools you can use to enhance both your and your partner’s pleasure. But, because there are so many options, it’s hard to even know what could be best for you and yours.
We talked with Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., Lovehoney sexologist and relationship expert, to find out what works best when you want to incorporate a toy during sex that both of you can enjoy. While she agrees that toys spice things up physically, talking about what toys you and your partner may enjoy also creates an open dialogue between the two of you. “It can be a reminder to slip out of your roles as co-parents or roommates and slip into your roles as lovers,” she says.
Even if you’ve been with your partner for years, discussing and exploring the use of sex toys can bring you closer together, physically and emotionally. If you find you experience pain with penetration (either as a symptom of menopause or in general), toys are also a way to gain pleasure without penetration while still remaining close to your partner. Some couples find sex post-menopause can be more enjoyable.
“Lifestyle shifts that tend to coincide with post-menopausal years (e.g. kids spending more time away from home, greater financial stability that results in less overall stress) can also lead to more exploration in (and out of) the bedroom,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “Many of my clients have discovered sex toys in their 50s and 60s, as they’ve had more time to dedicate to their intimate relationships and greater confidence expressing their desires to partners.”
If you’re ready to explore the use of toys with your partner but don’t know where to start, don’t worry. Here are some expert-approved sex toys for couples.
Best Sex Toys for Couples
Maude Essentials Kit
There’s nothing quite like an all-in-one kit, especially when it leads to a fun night in bed. This set from KCM favorite Maude comes with a bullet-style vibrator, organic lubricant, and condoms, so you and your partner are prepared and protected. Plus, all elements can be used on their own, which only extends the possibilities.
Dame Hands-Free Bundle
Having to find a position to hold a vibrator between yourself and your partner can be annoying, especially if you find your hands get in the way. This uniquely shaped toy from Dame uses two silicone arms to hold itself in place, gently hugging the labia so that the vibrator remains in place for clitoral stimulation. In addition, this set comes with the vibrator and a wedge pillow, which helps you reach new angles and positions with ease.
Lovehoney Romp Juke Rechargable Cock Ring
“I love any toy you can easily add into your sexual routine without changing a thing,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “If you’re having sex with a penis, a simple vibrating ring is a great option. If you’re brand new to sex toys, consider the Romp Juke. It offers rumbly vibrations for both partners and its angles allow you to play in any position.”
OhNut Buffer Rings
Some experience pain with penetration only after a certain point, which is why adding a buffer can be beneficial. These silicone rings sit toward the base of the penis to shorten the length that can be used for penetration. You can use as few or as many rings as you and your partner would like, adjusting as necessary. They’re made from a super stretchy silicone material, so they won’t cut off circulation or feel uncomfortable for the wearer either. These can also be used on toys to shorten the penetration length, too.
We-Vibe Chorus
Feeling like incorporating a high-tech toy into your routine? “Toys specifically designed for couples, like the We-Vibe Chorus are perfect because they offer stimulation for both you and your partner,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “It can provide G-Spot, clitoris, and shaft stimulation. The Chorus is also adjustable, features touch-sensitive receptors, and offers custom vibrations through the We-Vibe app.”
Arcwave Voy
If your partner has a penis, using something like the Arcwave can not only introduce them to new sensations, but it’s great for those who experience pain with friction or squeezing sensations. “It can help you to learn to enjoy pleasure beyond the stroking or in-and-out motion,” Dr. O’Reilly says. It’s a cylinder-shaped toy that wraps around the penis seamlessly, applying constant, even pressure all over. It can be rotated, used in a stroking motion, or both at the same time for intense sensations.
Unbound G Spot Basics Bundle
Two is better than one, especially when you save some cash in the process. This bendy vibrator from Unbound has a thin profile that can easily fit between you and your partner during sex, and it’s also long enough for your partner to hold against you depending on what position you’re in. It comes with a tube of lubricant, too. Unbound is also offering a free Magic Babe Ball (think of it as the Magic 8 Ball of sex) with purchases over $5 with the code HAVEABALL. You and your partner can shake it for fun, sexy prompts to complete together.
Le Wand Petite Massager
If you’re looking for a powerful toy that will last you a lifetime, this classic wand vibrator will do the trick. This one is a little smaller than the original model, but it has a long handle so you can easily grip it and control where the silicone head goes. The broad end sends vibrations to a larger surface area, making it a great choice for foreplay or for those who don’t enjoy direct clitoral stimulation.
Womanizer Premium 2
Instead of vibrations, the Womanizer toys stimulate the area around the clitoris with pulsating air. “They provide indirect stimulation around the head of the clitoris externally and you can adjust the intensity levels from the sensual to the powerful according to your liking,” Dr. O’Reilly says. This is great for those who also experience discomfort with penetration, as all the stimulation is external.
Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace
This is a toy you can hide in plain sight. Designed as a necklace, this bullet-style vibrator is an elegant, yet powerful, accessory. Made for external stimulation only, this sleek metal vibrator can deliver intense and targeted vibrations wherever you or your partner would like. You could wear it out on date night while thinking about all the ways you can use it later, creating a sense of anticipation for you and your partner.
Lelo Tiani 3
Hands-free toys are amazing if you don’t want to be distracted by moving around or holding something while you and a partner are having sex. This toy by Lelo can be used as an internal and external vibrator during foreplay, but it can also be worn during penetrative sex. A small arm can be inserted into the vagina, holding the vibrating part over the clitoris and delivering vibrations to both areas. If your partner has a penis, they’ll feel the vibrations while entering you, too. Consider it double the fun.
If you are interested in original article by Katherine Pittman, you can find it here